it's nearing ten fifteen
thank god i can excuse myself
for not leaving the house
i can work towards
a black out
a night without feeling
i do it because it's appealing
these days i don't get too excited for anything
that leaves
i write poetry to remind myself
i was awake at some point
self-conscious and self-absorbed
i am deathly bored
being disconnected
they call me obsessive
but not compulsive
if i kept everything i didn't erase
they would call me crazy
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