self same

at 11:11
i wished to be healthy

how narcissistic,
it's 11:13 and i'm giving away my wishes
inducing my own sickness

i am Ouroboros,
uninterrupted egotistical cannibal

i never stop talking
to strangers on the street,
men in bars

can't stop drinking
like i said i would,
keep dragging on these scars

Goddamn, i go on and on
listing reasons why
i can't move on

"i didn't even believe in the death penalty, but oh yes, oh yes"

the bodies fall like days do,
quickly, in the blink of an eye,
my, how your baby has grown,
my, how you've always wanted the best for him,

string 'em high up in a tree, with the rest of them,
remember the first time you noticed his fingers becoming calloused,
the first time his knees bled, and how he ran into your arms,

he is your baby, in the name of the Father, he was blessed in the water,
oh, how they've chained him to the chair and set the locks on fire,
oh, how you tried to save him from this city, covering his face,
always covering his face when you carried him,

the day you lost control, don't you ever forget it,
his puppy dog eyes wet and blackened on the courtyard,
your sadness and frustration, and how you wondered,
wondered about the other mother,

the verdict is unanimous, the boys are animals,
they have ruined our city, and for years you held him in your lap, watched it on the TV,
hang 'em high! hang 'em high! no one will never hurt my baby,
we are all anxious for death, we are all angry

now, in the waiting room, you are shaking,
thinking of how gentle he looks when he's sleeping,
he is still just a baby, your baby,
did everyone forget, we all carry the weight of our son's bodies?

remember the day they put your rabid pup to sleep,
how they called to hang him, never looked in his eyes, never saw him as human,
they held him down and quickly tied him to the table,

we are all so anxious for death,
we are all angry.
but you, never forget those eyelashes, those first steps, those tiny pairs of shoes,
look deep into their eyes, never forget the weight, look deep into their eyes.



---
"I have seen people who were hung and that is not a sight I would wish anyone to see. I often wonder where does all the savagery originate in these young people, the seemingly endless callousness that allows one to take a life so easily, and to end their own if caught. There must have been a point where fighting and forgetting about it ended and picking up a gun and killing a person replaced it. Where someone gave up on being a good father or mother and decided to be a criminal. I feel sorry for them because being a father and grandfather is the greatest part of my life."