gone, fishing

am i the catfish to your cod?

do you like the story
of when i jumped off the third story balcony
not because i wanted to die but because i wanted to leave

i always keep you guessing
post trauma, it's a funny thing, in stories
told to your friends over coffee, casual like stand up comedy

am i the hook to your line and sinker?

it's funny how long it took me to understand rape
it's funny like a movie when you relate
to the character but he is much uglier than you
and much sadder than you

am i the Betta to your Betta?

the bad side of your gemini,
fighting to the death for the territory
of an egotistical tank of head space
where the enemy is familiar
like déjà-vu, he oddly resembles you

am i the the game fish and the bait fish?

cycling, the food and the hunger,
i swim circles, keep the pain close,
catch and release i keep
coming back to those who hurt me

am i this fish and the fisherman?

lured by the bait of my own suffering,
is my solitude hobby
hooking my own jaw?

a haiku for my genderless child

no pink or blue cloth
for my child wrapped in yellow
cannot be contained