Let's be honest, this is not poetry, this is goodbye!

iguessthisisgrownuplifeiwantittostopicant bringmyselftoevenbleedanymore it isnt worth it i have turned into a monster my face is ugly my dreams are ugly i want to die i wish it would just happen somehow and no one could be blamed and we could have good memories iwishi would havemet youwithout*her even my dreamssayyouwantheryou want her and i see it all the time ifeellikeilietomyself when i amhappy sheisyoursecretdream that isnt such a well kept secret youve tried to hide her but youcantlet go and i cant let go maybe its why we sre together and it endsjustlike it began with that song the part where you let go i pushed you to let her go i shouldnt have i was selfish i am still selfish you need to be with her and you will tell me no but i think deep insideyou want it you hide it your little secret your love you wish wouldnt have ended i hope that if we break up we can leave each other and never speak again because i dont want anyone to get hurt from us i really loveyouyou are hte only thing i live for and that causes pressure i am sorry i will find other things but iwish it was perfect i wish we could have a wedding and be really happy its a childsdreamiknow ijustthought it could be us and i dont know is this the part where we let go the song is this the partisit does anyone know i wish my life didnt lose all its meaning i wish i never met you with *her i wish you would have asked *her to stop calling somuchwheniasked you to i should have understood you didnt want to let her gowell i will try to let you goand ifyou moveon and ask your boyfriend or your girlfriend asks you to tell me to stop tlking i will stop talking i oweyouthat i really am proud of you you are the most successful person our age that i know so many great things you are so smartyouwill make a good wife to someone and a good mothermaybei will move to a new country an island and i'll talk poetry to myself i will always be here for you unless i shouldnt be but i will never be here too much if thats what you want and when someone else comes along for you i will back away you wont have to worry about letting go i will try for us i am weak but strong sometimes maybe i will get in a car wreck here or stabbed like other women in new orleans i am proud of you you have done so much already i hope you figureout what you want with *herihink it is something deep down maybe i am crazy but even my dreams think so i think you know too maybeiam crazy who knows you shouldnt bewith a crazy person i wish i ould say i cut my finger on purpose i cant process pain anymorenoteveninflicting it itjust steeps likeateabag boiling down in myinsides i guess thisi goodbye or maybe noti dont know what to dowhatyouwant but i am wearing you out and you needtoremember how young you are i make you old maybeeverything is finemaybe we can be happy forever but i am probably crazy tosay thatsoundslike youalready knowitwont happen i wish i was in the mountains goodbye silvye i love you in a way i have never loved another person in the strongest saddest way kindoflove i really do thank you for being a partofmylife forhelping me so often i wish things weredifferent i wish we were blades of grass goodbye.

don't worry, i know

every other day
or every third day
i am better than okay

ava, she's real now
she's drinking a red wine that i cannot spell

and carolina,
storey, and amber

how i look at you
with these child eyes

you are so beautiful

for me, it hurts to pee
for me, i cannot see below my belly

i want to meet your child
when he talks
i already know
messiah holds his breath

lesbian

fucked all the boys
in the army

win
war is over

still a lesbian

booze

bottled breast milk
booze
mother
I loved her
but I've grown up
sipping from my
grown up cup
brown bagged breasts
warm chest
desire
desire
to sleep like a baby
to cry like a little girl

red, black

Red wire
Black wire
We're trying to love each other
Touchy loose
sparks in the fire
She's trying her best
to give her all
red magnet
black magnet
she's pushing and pulling
trying her very best

Hello?

Hello?

Just wanted to let you know

I want to be your housewife.

if you want me to.

Can't find your name anywhere on the internet

blue scooters
false pride
blue house
bus rides
laughter, oh the laughter,
the smell of your fragile body worn out
fifty cents
screams
all of the whispering
broken chair
bullied blue faced
baby boy
brother
memory covered
in green paint
yellow paint
was it orgasm
was it orgasm
the end all be all
last breath
blanket
shame faced
who murderers
what a way to go
was it worth it
star trek
was it worth it
are you happy yet
did you do it
boy scout
noose knots
after thoughts
in the quiet streets
one last
prehistoric animal screech
ambulance tires
i was on the sidewalk
laughing, laughing
showing off
did we care
why am i sitting here
broken chair
broken boy
pants down
feet up
how did they find you
little brother
step father mother
swinging of you body
cold and white
kids who pushed you
wearing ties
cutting classes
all the third grade boys
looking up
confused
clenching souvenirs
blank permission slips
you genius
where are you now
insubordinate fool
you would have been our boss
you would have taken care of us
where are you now?

Good Friday

Father
threw her hair into the dumpster

It was Good Friday

The birds did not sing

man monsters

Monsters
you've been with
men
man monsters
i am not prepared
should have been
but I am sick
it is
sickening
men.

Love

Love
is a brown pug
chasing a black lab
across North Claiborne
on a Friday night