Let's be honest, this is not poetry, this is goodbye!

iguessthisisgrownuplifeiwantittostopicant bringmyselftoevenbleedanymore it isnt worth it i have turned into a monster my face is ugly my dreams are ugly i want to die i wish it would just happen somehow and no one could be blamed and we could have good memories iwishi would havemet youwithout*her even my dreamssayyouwantheryou want her and i see it all the time ifeellikeilietomyself when i amhappy sheisyoursecretdream that isnt such a well kept secret youve tried to hide her but youcantlet go and i cant let go maybe its why we sre together and it endsjustlike it began with that song the part where you let go i pushed you to let her go i shouldnt have i was selfish i am still selfish you need to be with her and you will tell me no but i think deep insideyou want it you hide it your little secret your love you wish wouldnt have ended i hope that if we break up we can leave each other and never speak again because i dont want anyone to get hurt from us i really loveyouyou are hte only thing i live for and that causes pressure i am sorry i will find other things but iwish it was perfect i wish we could have a wedding and be really happy its a childsdreamiknow ijustthought it could be us and i dont know is this the part where we let go the song is this the partisit does anyone know i wish my life didnt lose all its meaning i wish i never met you with *her i wish you would have asked *her to stop calling somuchwheniasked you to i should have understood you didnt want to let her gowell i will try to let you goand ifyou moveon and ask your boyfriend or your girlfriend asks you to tell me to stop tlking i will stop talking i oweyouthat i really am proud of you you are the most successful person our age that i know so many great things you are so smartyouwill make a good wife to someone and a good mothermaybei will move to a new country an island and i'll talk poetry to myself i will always be here for you unless i shouldnt be but i will never be here too much if thats what you want and when someone else comes along for you i will back away you wont have to worry about letting go i will try for us i am weak but strong sometimes maybe i will get in a car wreck here or stabbed like other women in new orleans i am proud of you you have done so much already i hope you figureout what you want with *herihink it is something deep down maybe i am crazy but even my dreams think so i think you know too maybeiam crazy who knows you shouldnt bewith a crazy person i wish i ould say i cut my finger on purpose i cant process pain anymorenoteveninflicting it itjust steeps likeateabag boiling down in myinsides i guess thisi goodbye or maybe noti dont know what to dowhatyouwant but i am wearing you out and you needtoremember how young you are i make you old maybeeverything is finemaybe we can be happy forever but i am probably crazy tosay thatsoundslike youalready knowitwont happen i wish i was in the mountains goodbye silvye i love you in a way i have never loved another person in the strongest saddest way kindoflove i really do thank you for being a partofmylife forhelping me so often i wish things weredifferent i wish we were blades of grass goodbye.