i think
the only way we can love each other
is underwater
me
floating in my diving bell
you
latched on to
the bottom of the ocean
we can suffer quietly
slightly away from one another
touching only floating sediments
of our heavy seabed souls
we can be alone together
we will never hurt each other
I like the rhythm of this one - very emotional. The imagery in the the second stanza is very interesting... Perhaps the rest of the poem would benefit from a little more illustration? The feelings and ideas are sound, but I don't really SEE them as much in the final two stanzas. I think this could be developed a little more. But very moving, overall. Love you!
ReplyDeletethank you so much, nico! i do agree.
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