cigarettes

you were
a pack of cigarettes
i was
addicted
to you



these days
i smoke a lot
less
and cough a little
more

WE WILL BE OKAY!

I left you for the water
and the air
that I need
I left you for the smiles
and the sanity
I found a small sea shell
in the remains of the hurricane
beautiful and broken
I found myself in
the coldest months of winter
curled up, and she,
she was there to tell me
no, you are beautiful,
keep yourself warm,
you can come inside anytime.
I found a steady hand,
in my pocket,
holding what I gave away
somewhere inside,
our minds
saying, we will ride roller coasters
and we will
be
okay.

God Say The Same (working)

I live in a city
where speaking of murder
every morning
is as common as asking the waitress
for another cup of coffee.

It makes me angry,
New Orleans,
makes me dream angry dreams.

Boy was six years old
with a pellet gun in his waistband
putty knife in his hand,
his accomplice three years old
stealing cigarettes and candy.
What have your baby brown eyes seen?

Murder, murder, murder
She's a pregnant woman
collecting gifts
for a child without a father
wondering how much longer

It makes me angry
to see the pain in the cracks of the street
to hear the sirens sigh of defeat
always too late
always someone's son down
Bloody mothers cradling the dead

It is too common
too comfortable in our pain

I have been to your cemetery
I wanted to hold you like you held him
as your baby died in your arms.
New Orleans,
you make me angry.

My child has
no
home.

me

Machine heart
organic tongue
nothing but narcissism
nothing but me me me
Machine mind
organic eyes
nothing but you you you
in relation to me

A quick something before I go

A quick something
before I go
a magnet on the fridge
reminding you to be excited
for your future
Letting you know
I want you to smile

it's gone

twotwentyseven a.m.
dipping my scarf in cold piss
on the bathroom floor
squatting
squint eyes
staring
for a pen mark
on the wooden wall
i wrote once
drunk
i love you
shaking
blurry nights
blend in black
fuzzy eyes
i drunkenly declare
we're gone

dreamboat

I made a paper dreamboat
watched it float
through my fingers
built a moat
around my beating vessels
let it sink
lovers drown
built a grave
lowered down
watched the cement come apart
watched the glue come undone
wondered why
my dreamboat didn't fly
wondered why
when the puzzles pieces didn't fit
threw a fit
slammed them down, way down,
I cheated and it felt
alright.

my little naked

Honey, get your coat on
you know it's getting colder
my little naked, you've gone crazy
child, please don't chase me
let's stop our drinking
get some soup and watch a movie

my little naked,
you've gone crazy
burning matches
drunk in traffic

my little naked,
i read your letters
honey, why'd you hurt me
my little child, you're so angry
go to sleep and start your dreaming

my only friends are strangers
but now,
i think,
it is better to have broken conversations
with the passers by
than to sit with you for hours
talking and talking

all my foreign friends
i'm sad to see them go
but you,
well,
have fun in Europe,
i hope you stay there

i never ever want to speak to you again

Just for today.

Just for today,
let's hook up your wires
to my wires
and make each other
happy.